[ The switch in question, the way he's being answered... that tells him that John's not ready to figure it out yet. He needs more time, needs to look a little more. Right now, John only has enough knowledge to hang himself, enough to be scared. But they're here. They'll help him.
For now, though, he'll switch directions, just a little. Rub lightly at the back of his head, nudge him gently with his own forehead, bring him to this moment, this place. To them. ]
We are servants, John. And we have to be whole. to offer our whole selves.
We do not question our masters. But we do choose them.
You cannot lose your brothers. You will not lose your brothers.
But whether you serve God. Or Joseph. Or something you have yet to find.
[He pulls himself back, to the conversation. Right now, he's been serving Carol. And, while that has been working, he knows that it won't last. Not with how convoluted their relationship has become.]
[He stays there for a long moment, trying to actually take that in. He's always told himself to be better. He thought he could do better.
He's not ready to admit that he had been lying to himself out loud. He's still trying to read Warren, attempting, at some level, to try and please him. So he stays quiet until he gathers his thoughts completely.]
[ Faith in John, pure and simple. Hard as iron. That is the voice of a man who locked himself in with a bomb once. And it's here, now, that he's putting it on the line again. ]
You'll figure it out. I'll be there. To keep you accountable.
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No. You don't know him. You don't know Joseph. I will not lose my brothers. I cannot lose them again.
[He will do whatever it takes to keep them, even if that means continuing to destroy himself.]
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For now, though, he'll switch directions, just a little. Rub lightly at the back of his head, nudge him gently with his own forehead, bring him to this moment, this place. To them. ]
We are servants, John. And we have to be whole. to offer our whole selves.
We do not question our masters. But we do choose them.
You cannot lose your brothers. You will not lose your brothers.
But whether you serve God. Or Joseph. Or something you have yet to find.
That is what you're here for.
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And if I fail?
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[ Warren demands excellence. But he doesn't expect perfection. Because perfection is the enemy of progress. ]
And every failure will teach you more. Teach you to be better. Help you face every challenge afterwards.
Perfection is limited. Meaningless.
Better is always possible.
Better is a purpose.
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He's not ready to admit that he had been lying to himself out loud. He's still trying to read Warren, attempting, at some level, to try and please him. So he stays quiet until he gathers his thoughts completely.]
I'll try. [He quickly amends:] I - will. Whatever better means.
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[ Faith in John, pure and simple. Hard as iron. That is the voice of a man who locked himself in with a bomb once. And it's here, now, that he's putting it on the line again. ]
You'll figure it out. I'll be there. To keep you accountable.
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A little smarmy:]
Well, I don't need a babysitter.
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I should hope not.
[ Back to something more comfortable, something less raw. ]
For now, though... enjoy dinner. And. I'll be back tomorrow.